Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Quitting Coffee One Cup at a Time


This one is really tough for me. I’ve been hooked on the bean for 18 years!

Caffeine is the most widely used drug known to man. We’ve bogged our lives down so much with all this work, activity and fear that many of us truly need that lift in the day to get it all done.
Many people have successfully found healthy lifts though, so there is hope for us coffee addicts!


I am now on day 33 of Raw foods, and for the past week have been going thru a detox that feels like a cold. My body is really working hard to push out my toxin collection and is starting to get pretty upset with me about the coffee. The past two days I’ve felt a steady stream of nausea and I know its because of coffee.


So what’s my game plan? Quitting one cup a time. Replacing coffee for tea. Taking shots of E3 Live and Noni. Exercise more. And a friend just suggested having an apple each time I want coffee. I really love that idea, especially now that apples are in season!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

20 Days of Raw Foods!


My body & mind are definitely functioning at higher levels. The only time I’ve wanted anything other than raw was alcohol related. I had a couple of beers at a Japanese restaurant and suddenly I wanted sushi. I wrestled back and forth with it for a little while and I realized that I was not craving the fish, nor did my body feel like it needed it. It was the beer, and that voice, that was asking for the sushi. I decided that I’d try the raw options first, and go from there. I ate two orders of seaweed salad, edamame, and 4 avocado & cucumber rolls without the rice. I was totally satisfied and bypassed having fish. A week later I had alcohol again, and this time I wanted potato chips. I didn’t give in to that either. Without a doubt, alcohol will derail me in many ways If I’m not careful. My stomach was very upset after each night of drinking and I remembered what I’ve learned dozens of times in my smoking career…Once your body becomes accustomed to healthy levels of functioning it will totally rebel when you reintroduce the toxins & poisons. It’s actually a great way of gauging your progress and a wonderful opportunity to discover your body’s desire to maintain homeostasis. I really enjoy communicating with my body to discover what I truly want and need to eat.
I’ve been eating a lot of heavy winter greens, avocados, nuts, seeds, goji berries, sea weed, apples, olives, garlic, onions & Kim Chee. Right now I am totally in love with Brazil nuts, Walnuts & Pumpkin seeds. I am drinking a lot of green juice, coconut water & milk, Banana smoothies with Maca, E3 Live along with lots of distilled water. We’ve started growing wheatgrass here at home and I am very excited about that becoming part of my daily routine. I feel that daily wheatgrass shots will raise my energy levels in a big way. I am still drinking coffee and thinking about ways to gently move past it. I've lost about 20 pounds in the past couple of months, mostly after going Raw!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Amazing results in just 9 days!



For some time now, my diet has been 75% raw. I’ve been regularly eating veggie sandwiches with sprouted grain or wheat bread, potato chips, occasional ice cream, beer & wine and once or twice a month I may have eggs or sushi and on rare occasion cheese, chicken and duck. I also used half and half in my coffee on occasion. Seems harmless enough right? The last nine days I’ve been vegan and completely raw for the last four and my energy is off the charts. The super foods I’ve added to my diet are Maca, E3 Live and Wheatgrass. Those have definitely helped. I have abstained from alcohol and I am walking 3 days a week for 30 minutes at a time. The results are amazing. I’ve lost ten pounds, my depression has lifted, my anxiety lessened, my eyes are bright and I can feel my posture correcting itself. I am really blown away at the difference just a few days can make. I began to feel surges of natural energy after 5 days. I don’t feel deprived at all. Every day of energy motivates me to create another one. The situations that were really annoying me a few weeks ago are now manageable, and I am navigating through my issues with greater ease.
I am still drinking coffee, and with every day I am becoming more attuned with how it is affecting my body. I feel anxious and jittery which always leads to irritation. I am forming a game plan on how to easy coffee out of my system. It’s also habitual, so I’ll look into some healthier alternatives to help ease the transition.

Love,
Amanda

Monday, November 16, 2009

Cycles


Somewhere around the age of 8 I started eating to comfort myself and I never really stopped. I gained around 20 pounds a year until I was 14, when my attention was suddenly diverted to boys. What joy for my parents! =) My focus shifted to looking good so I could land that “perfect” male. Special thanks to the media for planting those weeds in my mind!


I was eating a lot of junk food, a heavy southern diet and just all out overeating. My mom was always very concerned with her weight, even though she was quite slim. I paid a lot of attention to what she was doing and thinking. I weighed about 30 pounds more than she did and she would always call herself fat, yet insist that I wasn’t. That made no sense to me. We would wake at 4 am and exercise for an hour to ninety minutes every day before school & work. I really enjoyed it, despite that fact that I usually stayed on the phone until the wee hours every morning. We adopted a low fat diet and paid close attention to the amount to fat grams we consumed.


Over the next 3 years I went from weighing 190 in a size 18 to weighing 145 in a size 9. For a big boned girl who is 5’10”, that’s pretty darn thin. Nevertheless, my boyfriend at that time kept telling me I was fat and was really hard on me about it. He wanted me to look like the pin up girls. Again, I would like to congratulate the media for contaminating yet another mind. My view of my body was now locked into place. I am fat.


Over the next seven years my weight went up and down. Between moving, schedule changes, emotional upheavals and ultimately a sedentary job where I sat at a microscope ten hours a day, I found my way up to 220 pounds. I needed some help. I started walking regularly and seemingly out of nowhere a childhood desire of having a punching bag sprang forth and all I could think about was training in martial arts. I moved to New York City shortly after, found a school that I liked and was on my way. 2001’s New Year’s resolutions forwarded me into a health foods store in my Bronx neighborhood. I immediately connected with one of the employees. He was so vibrant and alive! He introduced me to juicing, Apple Cider Vinegar and the ways of a vegan. He recommended books by Paul & Patricia Bragg which I bought and totally devoured. I started juicing regularly, eating lots of salads & fruit and severely limiting sugar, white flour, table salt, meat and dairy. I removed alcohol, worked to keep the desire to smoke cigarettes at bay and really started noticing the amount of processed foods that claimed to be healthy and all natural. Little by little I was decreasing the amount of unnatural foods that I was so accustomed to eating. I switched to distilled water and experimented with water fast and found incredible energy in doing so. I felt fabulous. I trained in martial arts 3 days a week, worked every day and spent my free time in study of nutrition, metaphysics & Spirituality. I put 10 years of coffee drinking to bed and had finally made it to the 21 day mark of no caffeine. Yes!


The wind blew, the tides shifted and I made a decision to move out of New York and give a relationship I ended 18 months prior, another chance. Unbeknownst to me, I was moving right back into a dark hole I had fought so hard to get out of. I felt so good that I really thought I could handle anything. I was confidant my new healthy way of being was locked into place. Stress will throw you back into old patterns if you are not mindful of it though...


Just like that, I was swallowed back up in an old environment of animal products, junkfood, coffee and eventually cigarettes, again. Talk about depressed. I had no encouragement or support for the new way of life I found through natural foods. I was depressed for about a year before I could get a full grip on myself again. The most damaging part of that process was how I mentally treated myself for getting so far off track.

The past 7 years I have cycled in and out of these patterns of eating well & exercise. I’ve had substantial periods of time where I’ve been vegetarian, bordering on vegan. I’ve completed dozens of lengthy juice fast. I have accessed tremendous levels of energy and vibrancy. Yet time and time again I have allowed myself to be thrown off track by special occasions, social functions, holidays, visits back home to family, vacations, gifts appearing in the form of food, stress, heavy emotional patterns, pressure from peers to eat what they are eating and at times, just total resignation.

I find myself at 35 feeling pretty darn beat up. I am experiencing fatigue, tight and painful muscles, poor posture, anxiety, depression, irritability, shallow breathing and just all out unhappiness. Intuitively I feel I have a lot of cancer cells floating about looking to take root. I have prayed to spirit a lot about my health and internal state of being and the message I get is always the same. Diet, exercise & healthy thinking heals all. For me that means being a vegan & raw foodist. I’ve been off and on enough times to know that when I am on that path, I am absolutely radiant and full of life. When I am eating the standard American diet (SAD), I am the complete opposite.

I’ve read countless testimonies of people on deaths door who have completely healed themselves with raw, natural foods. I don’t want to keep wishing for better days, I want to live & radiate vitality now. This segment of my blog is dedicated to that. I will share my experiences and favorite recipes along with information on all the amazing superfoods that I am using to heal my body.

Let's get RAW WITH RAW!

Lots of love,
Amanda

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Relationship Expectations


I attended a workshop called Kindred Spirit this past weekend. It was about all types of relationships, but the real focus was on our relationship to ourselves, for that is what creates every experience that comes our way.

Learning within a group is always such an amazing experience. In that setting you see that “your” problems are quite common and experienced by everyone, no matter who they are. This type of opportunity allows you to be so much more loving with yourself. You see that nothing about you is wrong, bad or broken. Simply misunderstood.

I think my biggest challenge comes in the form of expectations. These are the types of expectations I experience in my intimate relationships.

An expectation that…


  • They are who they say they are

  • They are going to do what they say they are going to do

  • They mean what they say

  • They will change and become the person I want them to be

  • They will help me

  • They will make me happy

The perfect recipe for disappointment! Throw in a side of attachment of the expectations coming true and POW! Off to another painful reality I go.

My expectations end up creating a fictitious character, leaving me disappointed because they aren’t the person that I made up. I often don’t even bother to tell them the character I want them to be, I just expect them to know and want to turn into the person I created in my mind.

It gets even better though. As soon as they don’t meet my expectations, my ego jumps in and tries to make it mean all sorts of things like I’m not good enough, I’m unlovable, I’m not attractive, I’m unworthy and undesirable, he’s an asshole, she’s a bitch, etc. etc. damn. etc. Our egos will never expose the fictitious characters that run around in our minds, for the ego is the ring leader of that three ring circus of made up bullshit!

AND to make things even more fun, they have their own set of expectations about me! So you end up with 3 relationships going on. The one in their mind, the one in my mind, and the one that is actually happening in present time, which neither of us are bothering to pay that much attention to. It’s rather maddening, what we do to ourselves, in our quest for finding “the one”. It’s no surprise that divorce rate is so incredibly high. Had I married all of my serious boyfriends, I’d have about 4 divorces under my belt by now. Yikes!

What’s the solution? Pay attention. Be present. Notice when the mind takes off. Face your fears. Dispel the illusion. It takes time to adjust to a different way of being. Our minds have been making up stories about every single thing since we were children, so it is important to be gentle with ourselves in the process. Always remember, you are not alone. You are loved.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Passing Storms...


Life sure is a whirlwind these days. It’s hard to believe that it has been a month since my last post!

I’ve been geared up to move for many months, and have experienced quite a bit of stress over it. I really wasn’t sure how it was going to all work out due to a lack of funds and a lot of inner turmoil. All I really knew was that surrendering it to spirit was the only way I was going to truly know what to do.

At the first of August, there was a huge energetic shift at home. There was a change in roommates and with that, a change in my attitude. I had to own that my motivation in moving was fueled by me running from a relationship that wasn’t working out. Yeah the fog and high winds in San Francisco suck, but my attitude, that is where the real storm is at. That’s where there is a serious lack of sun. It's been a great reminder that I am the only one who can change my view of the skies of life. I am always the weather forecaster of my day. I am choosing today to be bright and sunny.

P.S. Amanda, please remember this tomorrow….

Friday, July 24, 2009

Summer In San Francisco


"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." Mark Twain.

Some argue that Mark Twain never said this. Whether he did or didn’t, thousands have said, are saying and will say that the coldest days they’ve known are those summer days in San Francisco.
Me, I am screaming it. This is a photo of me in our backyard last August. I dressed like this all summer!
I spent 5 winters in Minnesota and 4 winters in New York, and nothing could ever prepare me for the cold I faced when I moved to San Francisco. Absurd right? I moved here sight unseen and in the assumption that I was heading to sunny, warm California. I even considered getting rid of my winter gear before I moved here. HA! I seriously felt I could not handle another cold NY winter. Well the joke was on me! My time here in San Francisco has been nothing but one long cold winter! My first two months were brutal. I initially stayed with my buddy and his wife in one of the foggier parts of town. A neighborhood called Sunset. Go figure. They didn’t have a heating system and I chattered myself to sleep every night. I cried every day to my east coast family and friends and received the best gift in the world at Christmas that year. An electric blanket! Not long after that, I also purchased an electric space heater. And let me tell you, even with my thick blankets and down comforter, I have my little heater on every night! Honestly, there are only about 5 nights out of the year that I don’t use it.
There is a serious misconception about temperature here. When you watch the weather forecast and look at the temps across the country, San Fran always rings in at 70 and sunny. What the map fails to reflect is the thick layer of fog that separates our bodies from that 70 and sun. The fog doesn’t stand alone though. She is fierce friends with the wind, who blows in at 20-30 mph, howling at my window as if I were in Antarctica!

Microclimates reign supreme around here. 5 minutes in any direction can give you an entirely different experience.

I work in Berkeley, 20 minutes from San Francisco. I leave for work each day wrapped up in my coat and scarf. I get off the train in Berkeley and I’m in a completely different world. One of sunshine, blue skies and tank tops! It’s seriously 10-15 degrees warmer there.

When and if it actually is warm and sunny in San Francisco, please do not kid yourself into thinking that it will remain that way for the day, the hour or even a minute!
I’ll never forget the Bay to Breakers Marathon I went to last year. It was freezing when I left home so I bundled up in a heavy coat, hat, scarf and gloves. By 10am I was so hot that I peeled down to a tank top. Sunshine is a foreign element to my skin now, so I was nice and pink in no time. Within a few hours, dense fog and cold winds took over the city. Again. For the next three days I walked around in my long wool coat with a sunburn. Talk about confusing signals for my body!

At any time of the year San Francisco is full of tourist walking around scantly dressed, absolutely freezing their asses off. Boy, do I laugh! Cursing and crying wasn't exactly turning me into a warmer person. =)

As I am writing this at a coffee shop, a fireman struck up a conversation with me while waiting on his coffee. “How about this summer day we got going on?!” He says and laughs. (It’s been foggy, windy and cold every single day this week) Talk about a Universal Echo. He was completely drawn to me and the energy of my story. Turns out he also moved here from NYC and like me, hated his first two years here. Especially the weather. He wrestled with going back to the east coast for some time. He finally bumped into the right people and met his community. I swear the Universe sent him in to say, “Hang in there Amanda… Things are about to turn around for you. Sunshine is on the way!”

Friday, July 17, 2009

A Gem in the Rough




I love this stone! This odd beauty is called Aragonite . I would almost swear it is from outer space! Thinking back to how I came across it, I can see there were definitely other forces involved in our meeting….
My roommates and I were on our way back from Harbin Hot Springs. None of us really had that great of a time on our trip and I was in one of those special pissy moods throughout the entire weekend. We drove by the Petrified Forest store on the way up and decided we’d stop in on our way back so I could check out their stones. As we made our way back, I so wasn’t feeling it. I just wanted to get the hell home! Erica was pretty persistent about me checking out the store, so with a huge sigh I gave in. I walked into an amazing collection of crystals and fossils, and was instantly grateful for Erica’s persuasion. In no time at all I had my hands full of new rocks to take home and play with. I looked around the store and thought, what a great place to sell my necklaces!
A week later, I noticed there was a random charge of $23, dated two days after my visit. I called and spoke with the manager and over the next week she searched high and low, and could find no trace of the charge. She was baffled. I was blessed. While we were on the phone, I mentioned to her that I make jewelry and had created some amazing pieces out of what I bought there. She checked out my website and quickly responded that she loved my work and would definitely consider doing business with me. She invited me to come back with my collection so that we could formally meet. Not having a car, it took me another two months before I was able to make my way back. She was an amazing source of help and information, giving me a wealth of tips on which shows to go to, and who to speak with to find the best deals on rocks and minerals. On top of that she was more than happy to sell my necklaces at her store. YAY!
For my $23 credit, I chose to pick out more stones rather than receive a refund. That’s when I came across this spectacular collection of Aragonite. This is one of four pieces that I selected. They are going to make incredible necklaces.
Thanks to the mystery charge, I was able to establish a wonderful connection with the Petrified Forest Community in Calistoga, California. An amazing gem to find in the rough of that weekend!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Knowing when to ask for help


For some of us, asking for help can be one of the most difficult parts of life. Especially when we need money or food.
I have always been pretty independent and able to take care of myself. When I moved to San Francisco that all changed. Initially, I had a difficult time finding full time work and had to ask my family for rent money. I was pretty unhappy about it, but so very grateful they were able and willing to help. I got myself on track with a job and was feeling pretty good about being able to pay my bills, despite the fact that I wasn't too thrilled about my work. I had a feeling something was about to happen to my leg and after 7 years of not having insurance I was once again eligible. Two weeks later I broke my foot. I was in such denial that It was broken that I hobbled around in extreme pain for two weeks before I finally went for x-rays. Talk about stubborn! In my defense though, there was never a particular moment of impact that said broken bone to me. Yes, I kicked my martial arts coach a hundred times on his superhero body of steel and I do recall a little bit of pain towards the end of our session. But a broken bone?! Come on! I tried acupuncture, Reiki, a general practitioner who thought I had gout (LOL!) and then finally a chiropractor. I'll never forget what my boss said to me. "You know Amanda, they can do some really amazing things with Western Medicine these days!" By that point, I was a miserable mess and just wanted to teleport right to a bone specialist and beg him to help me. And that's exactly what I did. I was diagnosed with a stress fracture and told I would be in a cast for two months. Again, I was not a happy camper, but being in a cast did ease the pain of my foot. I started freaking out about how I was going to get around and what was going to happen to me. I felt completely defenseless and was really afraid someone would take advantage of my situation and attack me. Instead, I received the exact opposite. Loving help and support from my friends. I felt guilty about putting them out and worried about being such a burden. To that they said, Amanda, get over it! We love you and want to help care for you! I was amazed.
It is so easy to think that we just have to suffer alone and that's just the way things are. We always have a choice in how we view uncomfortable situations. I want to thank my friends and family for helping me see it so differently.
A year has passed and I am ready to start kicking my coach and buddy Matt again! Stay tuned for some video on that...