Vibing High into the New Year

I made it through the holidays Raw without any upset. I attended 4 parties and made homemade raw flax crackers with a nut cheese dip to share. Everyone loved my raw yummies and bypassed a table full of regular food for mine. I also ate before I went so that I wouldn't be tempted by hunger. Initially when I saw foods that I used to eat & love I thought Oh! I'm breaking my raw streak tonight! I must try that! I just rode through that feeling though, knowing deep down that I really didn't want it.

Thoughts of a cooked vegan dish were starting to pop up in my mind and I decided that once I started getting to that point of feeling deprived, I would feed that craving and see what I felt like. After being Raw for almost two months, its a breeze to remain vegan which is my ultimate long standing goal. So, on day 51 I decided I wanted to go and eat at my company's new Organic Vegan Mexican restaurant. It was a clear decision: I wanted to experience our new offering. It tasted great, however I didn't feel like, Oh hell yeah, I'm back on cooked food! Bring it! I experience really wanting a rich green salad, with a full knowing that running 95-100% Raw is where my body wants to be right now. I honestly feel great. My energy is high, my eyes are brigh, my skin is clear, my digestion is flowing, my attitude has improved. I feel Sunny! =)

I haven't had coffee in 3 weeks and I REALLY notice a difference. The tense anxiety of jangled nerves and dehydration is gone. I used black tea initially, but the caffeine started jacking me up like the coffee, so I've switched to Herba Matte, an herbal tea blend that has a healthy kick.

Now when I look at cakes & sweets that are full of fat, sugar and white flour, I find that it looks like plastic to me. Could you imagine eating plastic? Would any of you go to a restaurant and ask for a bowl of toxic chemicals with a glass of poison to wash it all down with? Sounds disgusting and ridiculous right? That's our standard american diet folks. (SAD) I know it's not easy to change ones diet, as i have been all over the charts with it for 24 years now. At the end of the day though, its easier to nourish your body with quality food than it is to be a prisoner in a sick body that is rapidly wasting away. Just try adding more greens, fruit & water in your life, and see how you feel. You are the sum of all your small steps!

Love,
Amanda

Quitting Coffee One Cup at a Time

This one is really tough for me. I’ve been hooked on the bean for 18 years!

Caffeine is the most widely used drug known to man. We’ve bogged our lives down so much with all this work, activity and fear that many of us truly need that lift in the day to get it all done.
Many people have successfully found healthy lifts though, so there is hope for us coffee addicts!

I am now on day 33 of Raw foods, and for the past week have been going thru a detox that feels like a cold. My body is really working hard to push out my toxin collection and is starting to get pretty upset with me about the coffee. The past two days I’ve felt a steady stream of nausea and I know its because of coffee.

So what’s my game plan? Quitting one cup a time. Replacing coffee for tea. Taking shots of E3 Live and Noni. Exercise more. And a friend just suggested having an apple each time I want coffee. I really love that idea, especially now that apples are in season!

20 Days of Raw Foods!

My body & mind are definitely functioning at higher levels. The only time I’ve wanted anything other than raw was alcohol related. I had a couple of beers at a Japanese restaurant and suddenly I wanted sushi. I wrestled back and forth with it for a little while and I realized that I was not craving the fish, nor did my body feel like it needed it. It was the beer, and that voice, that was asking for the sushi. I decided that I’d try the raw options first, and go from there. I ate two orders of seaweed salad, edamame, and 4 avocado & cucumber rolls without the rice. I was totally satisfied and bypassed having fish. A week later I had alcohol again, and this time I wanted potato chips. I didn’t give in to that either. Without a doubt, alcohol will derail me in many ways If I’m not careful. My stomach was very upset after each night of drinking and I remembered what I’ve learned dozens of times in my smoking career…Once your body becomes accustomed to healthy levels of functioning it will totally rebel when you reintroduce the toxins & poisons. It’s actually a great way of gauging your progress and a wonderful opportunity to discover your body’s desire to maintain homeostasis. I really enjoy communicating with my body to discover what I truly want and need to eat.
I’ve been eating a lot of heavy winter greens, avocados, nuts, seeds, goji berries, sea weed, apples, olives, garlic, onions & Kim Chee. Right now I am totally in love with Brazil nuts, Walnuts & Pumpkin seeds. I am drinking a lot of green juice, coconut water & milk, Banana smoothies with Maca, E3 Live along with lots of distilled water. We’ve started growing wheatgrass here at home and I am very excited about that becoming part of my daily routine. I feel that daily wheatgrass shots will raise my energy levels in a big way. I am still drinking coffee and thinking about ways to gently move past it. I've lost about 20 pounds in the past couple of months, mostly after going Raw!

Amazing results in just 9 days!

For some time now, my diet has been 75% raw. I’ve been regularly eating veggie sandwiches with sprouted grain or wheat bread, potato chips, occasional ice cream, beer & wine and once or twice a month I may have eggs or sushi and on rare occasion cheese, chicken and duck. I also used half and half in my coffee on occasion. Seems harmless enough right? The last nine days I’ve been vegan and completely raw for the last four and my energy is off the charts. The super foods I’ve added to my diet are Maca, E3 Live and Wheatgrass. Those have definitely helped. I have abstained from alcohol and I am walking 3 days a week for 30 minutes at a time. The results are amazing. I’ve lost ten pounds, my depression has lifted, my anxiety lessened, my eyes are bright and I can feel my posture correcting itself. I am really blown away at the difference just a few days can make. I began to feel surges of natural energy after 5 days. I don’t feel deprived at all. Every day of energy motivates me to create another one. The situations that were really annoying me a few weeks ago are now manageable, and I am navigating through my issues with greater ease.
I am still drinking coffee, and with every day I am becoming more attuned with how it is affecting my body. I feel anxious and jittery which always leads to irritation. I am forming a game plan on how to easy coffee out of my system. It’s also habitual, so I’ll look into some healthier alternatives to help ease the transition.

Love,
Amanda

Cycles

Somewhere around the age of 8 I started eating to comfort myself and I never really stopped. I gained around 20 pounds a year until I was 14, when my attention was suddenly diverted to boys. What joy for my parents! =) My focus shifted to looking good so I could land that “perfect” male. Special thanks to the media for planting those weeds in my mind!

I was eating a lot of junk food, a heavy southern diet and just all out overeating. My mom was always very concerned with her weight, even though she was quite slim. I paid a lot of attention to what she was doing and thinking. I weighed about 30 pounds more than she did and she would always call herself fat, yet insist that I wasn’t. That made no sense to me. We would wake at 4 am and exercise for an hour to ninety minutes every day before school & work. I really enjoyed it, despite that fact that I usually stayed on the phone until the wee hours every morning. We adopted a low fat diet and paid close attention to the amount to fat grams we consumed.

Over the next 3 years I went from weighing 190 in a size 18 to weighing 145 in a size 9. For a big boned girl who is 5’10”, that’s pretty darn thin. Nevertheless, my boyfriend at that time kept telling me I was fat and was really hard on me about it. He wanted me to look like the pin up girls. Again, I would like to congratulate the media for contaminating yet another mind. My view of my body was now locked into place. I am fat.

Over the next seven years my weight went up and down. Between moving, schedule changes, emotional upheavals and ultimately a sedentary job where I sat at a microscope ten hours a day, I found my way up to 220 pounds. I needed some help. I started walking regularly and seemingly out of nowhere a childhood desire of having a punching bag sprang forth and all I could think about was training in martial arts. I moved to New York City shortly after, found a school that I liked and was on my way. 2001’s New Year’s resolutions forwarded me into a health foods store in my Bronx neighborhood. I immediately connected with one of the employees. He was so vibrant and alive! He introduced me to juicing, Apple Cider Vinegar and the ways of a vegan. He recommended books by Paul & Patricia Bragg which I bought and totally devoured. I started juicing regularly, eating lots of salads & fruit and severely limiting sugar, white flour, table salt, meat and dairy. I removed alcohol, worked to keep the desire to smoke cigarettes at bay and really started noticing the amount of processed foods that claimed to be healthy and all natural. Little by little I was decreasing the amount of unnatural foods that I was so accustomed to eating. I switched to distilled water and experimented with water fast and found incredible energy in doing so. I felt fabulous. I trained in martial arts 3 days a week, worked every day and spent my free time in study of nutrition, metaphysics & Spirituality. I put 10 years of coffee drinking to bed and had finally made it to the 21 day mark of no caffeine. Yes!

The wind blew, the tides shifted and I made a decision to move out of New York and give a relationship I ended 18 months prior, another chance. Unbeknownst to me, I was moving right back into a dark hole I had fought so hard to get out of. I felt so good that I really thought I could handle anything. I was confidant my new healthy way of being was locked into place. Stress will throw you back into old patterns if you are not mindful of it though...

Just like that, I was swallowed back up in an old environment of animal products, junkfood, coffee and eventually cigarettes, again. Talk about depressed. I had no encouragement or support for the new way of life I found through natural foods. I was depressed for about a year before I could get a full grip on myself again. The most damaging part of that process was how I mentally treated myself for getting so far off track.

The past 7 years I have cycled in and out of these patterns of eating well & exercise. I’ve had substantial periods of time where I’ve been vegetarian, bordering on vegan. I’ve completed dozens of lengthy juice fast. I have accessed tremendous levels of energy and vibrancy. Yet time and time again I have allowed myself to be thrown off track by special occasions, social functions, holidays, visits back home to family, vacations, gifts appearing in the form of food, stress, heavy emotional patterns, pressure from peers to eat what they are eating and at times, just total resignation.

I find myself at 35 feeling pretty darn beat up. I am experiencing fatigue, tight and painful muscles, poor posture, anxiety, depression, irritability, shallow breathing and just all out unhappiness. Intuitively I feel I have a lot of cancer cells floating about looking to take root. I have prayed to spirit a lot about my health and internal state of being and the message I get is always the same. Diet, exercise & healthy thinking heals all. For me that means being a vegan & raw foodist. I’ve been off and on enough times to know that when I am on that path, I am absolutely radiant and full of life. When I am eating the standard American diet (SAD), I am the complete opposite.

I’ve read countless testimonies of people on deaths door who have completely healed themselves with raw, natural foods. I don’t want to keep wishing for better days, I want to live & radiate vitality now. This segment of my blog is dedicated to that. I will share my experiences and favorite recipes along with information on all the amazing superfoods that I am using to heal my body.

Let's get RAW WITH RAW!

Lots of love,
Amanda

Relationship Expectations

I attended a workshop called Kindred Spirit this past weekend. It was about all types of relationships, but the real focus was on our relationship to ourselves, for that is what creates every experience that comes our way.

Learning within a group is always such an amazing experience. In that setting you see that “your” problems are quite common and experienced by everyone, no matter who they are. This type of opportunity allows you to be so much more loving with yourself. You see that nothing about you is wrong, bad or broken. Simply misunderstood.

I think my biggest challenge comes in the form of expectations. These are the types of expectations I experience in my intimate relationships.

An expectation that…

• They are who they say they are


• They are going to do what they say they are going to do


• They mean what they say


• They will change and become the person I want them to be


• They will help me


• They will make me happy

The perfect recipe for disappointment! Throw in a side of attachment of the expectations coming true and POW! Off to another painful reality I go.

My expectations end up creating a fictitious character, leaving me disappointed because they aren’t the person that I made up. I often don’t even bother to tell them the character I want them to be, I just expect them to know and want to turn into the person I created in my mind.

It gets even better though. As soon as they don’t meet my expectations, my ego jumps in and tries to make it mean all sorts of things like I’m not good enough, I’m unlovable, I’m not attractive, I’m unworthy and undesirable, he’s an asshole, she’s a bitch, etc. etc. damn. etc. Our egos will never expose the fictitious characters that run around in our minds, for the ego is the ring leader of that three ring circus of made up bullshit!

AND to make things even more fun, they have their own set of expectations about me! So you end up with 3 relationships going on. The one in their mind, the one in my mind, and the one that is actually happening in present time, which neither of us are bothering to pay that much attention to. It’s rather maddening, what we do to ourselves, in our quest for finding “the one”. It’s no surprise that divorce rate is so incredibly high. Had I married all of my serious boyfriends, I’d have about 4 divorces under my belt by now. Yikes!

What’s the solution? Pay attention. Be present. Notice when the mind takes off. Face your fears. Dispel the illusion. It takes time to adjust to a different way of being. Our minds have been making up stories about every single thing since we were children, so it is important to be gentle with ourselves in the process. Always remember, you are not alone. You are loved.

Passing Storms...

Life sure is a whirlwind these days. It’s hard to believe that it has been a month since my last post!

I’ve been geared up to move for many months, and have experienced quite a bit of stress over it. I really wasn’t sure how it was going to all work out due to a lack of funds and a lot of inner turmoil. All I really knew was that surrendering it to spirit was the only way I was going to truly know what to do.

At the first of August, there was a huge energetic shift at home. There was a change in roommates and with that, a change in my attitude. I had to own that my motivation in moving was fueled by me running from a relationship that wasn’t working out. Yeah the fog and high winds in San Francisco suck, but my attitude, that is where the real storm is at. That’s where there is a serious lack of sun. It's been a great reminder that I am the only one who can change my view of the skies of life. I am always the weather forecaster of my day. I am choosing today to be bright and sunny.

P.S. Amanda, please remember this tomorrow….